Nancy Wood

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me." Are you familiar with that old childhood phrase? Well, as an adult, I now know that that is so far from the truth. While a body will naturally recover from an injury, the harm caused by words can sometimes last a lifetime and rip the self-worth right out of a person's soul.

On the other hand, friendship bonds arise under some of the most unexpected circumstances. As I privately confided in a colleague about a hurtful incident, what had been a casual friendship developed into a long-term friendship. For example, a while back, as she was encouraging me, a friend of mine, Nancy Wood, recounted the following story to exemplify the point she was making.

She narrated this nineteenth-century folktale, the story of a man, who went about town slandering the town's wise man.

Long after he had slandered the town’s wise man, seeing how he hurt the wise man so much, the slanderer decided -- one day -- to visit the wise man's home and asked for forgiveness. The wise man, recognizing that this man did not fully realize the seriousness of his wrongdoing, told him that he would forgive him on one condition. The condition was that the slanderer would go home, take a feather pillow from his house, go to the top of the nearby mountain, rip it up, and scatter the feathers to the wind.

"Then,” said the wise man, “I want you to return to my house.”

Though bewildered by this weird request, the man was pleased to be forgiven with such an easy pardon. He scrambled to the top of the mountain, quickly cut up the pillow, scattered the feathers, and returned to the wise man's home. "Am I now forgiven?" he asked.

The wise man was not quite through. The wise man said, "I have just one more task for you, and if you complete this task, you are surely forgiven. Now, return and gather up all the feathers.”

The slanderer replied, "But sir that is impossible, for the wind has certainly scattered them by now. I could never find nor pick up all of the feathers."

"Exactly," said the wise man. “All of them can never be recovered.”

And so the lesson is taught. Nancy, in her wisdom continued, "You see, ugly words are like a rung bell. Once rung, no one can't un-ring it.” She advised, “All you can do is forgive because the Lord says you must. Forgetting will take more time.” I love her and her counseling and I miss her even though we stay in touch. Thanks, Nancy, for your friendship and guidance. You have blessed me by being my friend!