Decisions

Lots of people think that I am bossy and controlling. In my classroom, I would say that is probably accurate. However, outside the classroom and at home, I am different.

Ask my husband about his honey-do list and he’ll tell you that he doesn’t have one. He hardly ever has had one. Only when our schedule is impossibly crowded do I ask him for help. That’s not to say that he doesn’t help out, because he does. He takes initiative to do lots of tasks, but not because I ask or demand it.

I think it is important for people to make their own decisions based upon accurate information. I don’t mind helping obtain that information, but I don’t want anyone to make a wrong decision because I’ve skewed it.

In addition, believe it or not, I am not in charge of my social calendar. I learned early in our thirty-one year marriage that if I made plans in advance, that they would probably be changed. So, my husband and my children make our social plans. They are usually tentative and always last minute, but never-the-less they are plans. When asked, I usually let them know my preferences, but I don’t make final decisions.

They learned that when the decision is left to me, they won’t like it. For instance, when we used to go to Waco to shop or visit, I’d ask where they wanted to eat. Always, the reply was, “I don’t care.” They didn’t want to make the decision for fear of not pleasing the others. It may sound abnormal that they weren’t selfish kids who insisted on their own way, but being selfish was not their nature.

They were like the vultures perched on the limb in The Jungle Book. They would say, “What do you wanna do?”

“I dunno, what do you wanna do?”

“I don’t care, you decide.”

“No, you.”

Whenever that would happen, then I’d finally choose. . . Catfish King. Oh, the complaining I’d hear. Although they loved the food, we were always the only people in the restaurant without gray hair. So, they learned that they had to make decisions and not leave it to me because they’d have to live with mine and they wouldn’t like them.

Decision-making remains a dilemma for our family. Don’t misunderstand. The big decisions seem much easier to make. It’s only decisions that are relatively meaningless that remain a problem. It’s the “whatcha wanna do?” decisions that cause the most stress.

"A friend loveth at all times." Proverbs 17:17