Perception versus Truth

It seems that more and more often, I realize that there is not a wide enough separation between the perception we possess and the truth. I had this principal once who used to say, “It doesn’t matter what the TRUTH is, a person’s perception of the truth is their reality.” Although I understood and agreed with this statement, I only began appreciating it more and more the last few years.

Too often people don’t really care what the TRUTH is. They would rather wallow in their perceptions, slander other’s character, be the victim, or look the hero. Even small variations from the truth can give a totally different perception. People judge based upon their own viewpoints without ever seeking the truth.

Recently while visiting friends who are remodeling their kitchen, the husband said that he and his wife were fighting over the decisions for the makeover everything from paint color to cabinet finishes. I remarked that although my husband and I had built two houses that we had never even fussed once. His friend was standing there and he pointed his finger at me and said, “That’s because your husband is afraid of you!”

I was quite taken aback because that man hardly knew us. His perception was that I ruled the roost and bossed my husband around. The truth is that we agreed at the beginning of our building projects that my husband could have whatever he wanted in the house and what he didn’t have a preference for, I would choose. We were certain that his preferences were met first. Therefore, we never had any arguments.

I figure lots of people think that I am bossy and controlling. In my classroom, I would say that is probably accurate. But that’s because I must save my sanity amongst the teenagers. However, outside the classroom and at home, that's not the truth.

Ask my husband about his honey-do list and he’ll tell you that he doesn’t have one. He hardly ever has had one. Only when our schedule is impossibly crowded do I ask him for help. That’s not to say that he doesn’t help out, because he does. He takes initiative to do lots of tasks, but not because I ask or demand it.

So the perception that I dominate our relationship is not accurate. The truth is that we come to an agreement before proceeding. Sometimes we agree to disagree, but nevertheless we move forward. We get along pretty well that way.

"A friend loveth at all times." Proverbs 17:17