Pepe Le Pew

Late last night, we had an unwelcome visitor. Like most nights, I let our doggie daughter, Cindy, outside. Instead of taking her to the front yard, for some reason, I let her out the back door that leads onto the carport. She ran just as fast as she could to the yard.

While I was waiting for her, I noticed something outside the corner of my left eye. I suspected that it was the stray cat who likes to curl up there.

No, no, that was not the case. As I looked beyond the exercise bike and weight system, I saw little black feet moving toward the far corner. They were not cat feet. Then, I saw a tall wispy tail moving slowly back and forth. You guessed it, it was a skunk.

I called for my husband to come and help me, but because of the “wind tunnel” that we live with, he didn’t hear me thus he didn’t respond. So, I’m left to my own devices to deal with our guest.

I called Cindy to come to me hoping that she would not notice nor investigate the skunk. Good luck! She ran so hard and fast that she blew right by him without so much as a glance.

Once I had her safely in the house, I closed the door and marched in to get my husband. He jumped up and grabbed the rifle. I’m thinking, “You can’t shoot that skunk on the carport!” Recognizing my apparent thoughts, he said, “I’ll wait till he gets in the yard.”

So, we go to the doorway and peek outside. The skunk is still there. My husband knocks on the inside of our door to scare the skunk. He’s not affected. Next, I press the lock button on my key fob so that the horn on my car will honk. I do this several times and it appears that the skunk is deaf. He’s still not affected.

I retire to the bedroom to let my husband handle the situation. I hear a gun shot. Okay, he’s shot the skunk. No, no, he shot just to scare the skunk away. That skunk has nerves of steel. He’s not going anywhere. He’s still inspecting everything on the carport.

My husband gives up and turns in, too. We figure the skunk will just go away.

Now picture this, it’s a nice spring night. Our windows are up to let the cool breezes in. Sleeping is good. Middle of the night. . . wake up to the odor of a skunk. Strong. . .stronger. . .whew-wee! It finally subsides since the breezes are streaming in from the northwest.

As I leave to go to work, I exit through that same carport door. This time, I get a strong whiff of the skunk smell. Yep, he’s unloaded somewhere in our carport. Now, the entire back of the house, my car, my husband’s pickup and everything else there smells like our uninvited, unwelcome guest, Pepe Le Pew.

We had a fire drill at school this morning and all of the kids evacuated the building to the other side of the street where my car was parked. One after another, they exclaimed, “Smell that skunk?”

Sheepishly, I said, “Yep, yep, I do. It’s my car!” Now, I've got that smell caught in my nose hairs. That's all I can smell. Skunk. My classroom smells like skunk; the kids smell like skunk; I smell like skunk; everything smells like skunk. I hope it wears off soon because people don’t like to be around you if you smell like skunk, you know.

"A friend loveth at all times." Proverbs 17:17